


Say You Won't Let Go - 12x23 coda

by winvhesters



Series: 100 Ways to Say I Love You [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Coda, Finale spoilers, Little fluff at the end, M/M, Song Lyrics, Songfic, Spoilers, season twelve spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-26
Updated: 2017-05-26
Packaged: 2018-11-05 05:16:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11006763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winvhesters/pseuds/winvhesters
Summary: let me know what you think! don't forget you can find me on tumblr @winvhesters!





	Say You Won't Let Go - 12x23 coda

**Author's Note:**

> let me know what you think! don't forget you can find me on tumblr @winvhesters!

May 18, 2017…the day Dean Winchester’s life changed forever.

He’s sitting in an empty bar, sitting at the small stage singing an all too familiar tune.

“For a minute I was stone cold sober”

It was late in the night on May 18, the day the nephilim was due to be born. Sam and Dean were just trying to trap Lucifer in that weird alternate world. I mean, they succeeded, but Castiel, a man Dean would very soon come to realize he was in love with, didn’t get away as lucky.

After stepping through the portal back to their own reality, Castiel lit up like a Christmas tree in all the worst ways. Blues and Whites and Yellows were coming out of every crevice of the chocolate haired man. Lucifer had somehow managed to force an angel blade through the portal just enough to take revenge on Sam and Dean for trapping him in that hell world, by taking something that meant so much to both of them.

Dean screamed until his lungs gave out, falling to his knees next to his best friend, no the love of his life. Something he now realized as he sat weeping over the charred wings and graceless body of Cas.

Tears were falling with the wash of memories as Dean sang the next line to no one.

“I knew I loved you then but you’d never know. ‘Cause I played it cool.”

Dean sat silent in the impala as Sam drove them back home, back to the bunker. It seemed that everything he saw, he could find something that reminded him of his angel. The night sky was a memory of the night they watched the angels fall from Heaven. Even the Impala had memories of the fallen man, he looked to backseat to see if his friend was there as usual. He wasn’t.

Dean had felt heartbreak before, even broken a few himself. But this feeling, this was something completely new and entirely different and life shattering. It was like someone had a vice grip on every part of his body, it wasn’t painful like the pain he dealt with in hell, it was numbing physically and mentally. Dean had no idea if this was something he’d ever be able to get over.

He played memories over and over in his head. The first time Dean and Cas met, he’d stabbed Cas in the chest. It must of made some kind of good impression either way, after all Cas had stuck around for the past eight years.

The first time Dean realized that Cas was a part of his family was the next memory he replayed. It was the moment Cas had decided that the Winchesters were much more important to him than that of what Heaven was giving him instructions to follow. “I always come when you call.” Castiel had stated. This was also the moment Dean knew that there was more to the budding friendship between the two men. Castiel never found out, he just couldn’t.

Dean had muttered countless ‘I love you’s’ to Castiel over the course of the past six years. Of course the angel had no clue because of his naivety and frankly, Dean just wouldn’t say the words right out. “Here have a burger, those make you happy.” “Let’s have a drink, Cas.”

Dean recalls the mixtape. Thirteen songs, and not just any songs. Thirteen of Dean’s “favorite” Led Zeppelin songs. He’d labeled it as favorites, but Dean had recorded most of Zeppelin’s best love songs. “There’s good songs on here, Cas. I want you to have this and listen to them.” He remembers one night when they were looking for Kelly so they could prepare for the nephilim, Castiel had come into his room to have a chat and return the mixtape after having listened to it several times. Dean continued working as he wasn’t necessarily happy with some things that Cas had been doing lately. “It’s a gift, Cas, you keep those.”

“Just say you won’t let go.”

As he sings, he thinks back to the night everything changed. He was bent over Cas’ graceless body. He kept yelling at him to wake up, to come back like he always does. Sam, his brother, had restrained him and pulled him away from the angel and taken him home. Cas would be given a proper hunter’s funeral when they got back to the bunker. That day never came though.

Dean’s singing was cut short by someone walking into the bar he was currently at. He had looked up from his strumming of the guitar to see an all too familiar face. He smiled.

Castiel had come back to Dean Winchester. Not as an angel, but as a human. Cas had been without grace before, so this wasn’t going to be too difficult for him to readjust as. Chuck had heard Dean’s prayers to have Cas back, to be happy.


End file.
